Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in The Jester's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, December 5th, 2009
8:58 pm	Writer's Block: Name that tune Is there any song you'll never grow tired of hearing? If so, what is it, how long have you loved it, and why? Submitted By connxx View 1325 Answers Oooooh, too many to name, but I'll have a red-hot go at narrowing it down a bit... "Beyond The Sunset" and "I Saw The Light" by Hank Williams, "Ghost Riders In The Sky", especially the Johnny Cash version, "We'll Meet Again" by Vera Lynn. I have always loved both the Hank songs, "Beyond The Sunset" because it's so beautiful, so eloquent and details the kind of love that endures all, even departure from the mortal realm, and that the narrator and his loved one will meet again in Heaven; in fact it is the ideal funeral song (and thus the polar opposite to the abysmal "My Immortal" by Evanescence). I have also always loved "I Saw The Light" by Hank Williams because it's pious yet upbeat and catchy, and I feel it is especially relevant to my life - I wandered so aimless, living a life of sin and for a long time I dodged church, because what meagre benefits I was getting I was enjoying too much, but in recent years I have started going back to church and becoming more religious, and I think (I hope) I'm getting closer to the straight and narrow. I first heard "We'll Meet Again" when I was about sixteen, and I've loved it ever since, for the sheer optimism and other sentiments echoed in "Beyond The Sunset". "Ghost Riders In The Sky" I have always loved because of the imagery, a narrative detailing a different manifestation of Hell, namely the souls of these condemned stockmen who have to try and round up the Devil's herd, and they issue a warning to the man witnessing this occurrence (and by extension we the audience) to clean up his act and turn away from sin in order to avoid the same fate. And while I enjoy Frankie Laine's version and other versions I've heard, nobody does it justice better than The Man In Black himself. Current Music: "I Saw The Light", Hank Williams (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 28th, 2009
9:01 pm	Writer's Block: Book worms unite! What are the three best books you have ever read and what are the three worst? What made them so good or bad? Submitted By crazylove16 View 1079 Answers The three best books I have ever read: - The Bible:- I have found that it makes so much sense, that a lot of the advice in it works out perfectly in real life, and having become a regularly practicing Baptist in recent years I think I should start reading it regularly again (I regularly consulted it as a teenager, but not as much as I should have in my adult life sadly). - The Big Nowhere by James Ellroy:- pure brilliance, it has intricate and elaborate plotting and multiple stories going on, which eventually tie in together, and three main protagonists you like even though they're far from perfect (and in the case of Buzz Meeks, I found him most likeable despite my better judgement). It captured the spirit of the time in which it was set (America as 1950 began). Also, I couldn't put it down, and it had a great ending which could have worked either as a cliffhanger or as an ending which leaves anything after to the reader's imagination. (But then you find out what happens in the sequel L.A. Confidential, and from there the next story begins). - Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky:- just like the above, it is intricately and elaborately plotted and indeed multi-plotted, and in addition to telling the story it comments on the way things were in Russia in the 1860s. We also see the crime and the aftermath through the eyes of the perpetrator Raskolnikov, and what goes through his head. In addition I found myself liking him too despite my better judgement, perhaps for the humanity and the compassion in him, particularly towards Sonia and her family, and sympathising with him when his sister was looking like marrying a complete arsehole. The three worst books I find a little harder to qualify, but I'll try: - The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx and Freidrich Engels:- the biggest load of sanctimonious, hypocritical bullshit I have ever read. Honestly, an anti-social, anti-capitalist, anti-religious diatribe cooked up by these two arseholes who benefitted enormously from capitalism and the bourgeois lifestyle - Engels was a factory owner and Marx's patron, and did at least half of Marx's work for him, if not 95%, and was essentially Marx's bitch - and the closing line "WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR CHAINS!" is a big fat laugh coming from a bolshie bludger who never worked a day in his life. In addition that tosser Marx insulted my ancestors who were alive at the time, dubbing them the "lumpenproletariat" and basically saying that being farmers and agricultural workers they were rustic hayseed hicks so who gives a shit about them. (My ancestors alive in 1848 were farmers in Australia, Ireland, Latvia, England and Germany). To summarise, Karl Marx can kiss my arse. - Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton:- admittedly I was not quite 15 when I read it, but it was a chore to get through. - Ulysses by James Joyce:- I'm Irish on my Dad's side, so I gave it a red-hot go, I really did, but it didn't seem to go anywhere, just seemed to focus on these jokers who wore snot-green ties as they rolled up their trousers and dipped their toes in the sea and made anti-Semitic wisecracks. I can't remember if I ever come across the character Leopold Bloom. Yeah, I gave up on it early. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 21st, 2009
11:29 pm	Writer's Block: Time in a bottle Imagine that you have a time machine. Which deceased musician would you most want to travel back in time to watch perform live? Submitted By crazyprotein View 1489 Answers There are so many. I don't think I would have heard The Beatles for all those screaming girls which is a shame (though Paul and Ringo are both still with us and either together or apart they put on a good show). Other artists I would love to have seen live include Johnny Cash, Elvis, Ella Fitzgerald, Jimi Hendrix, Muddy Waters, Billie Holliday, Howlin' Wolf, Dean Martin, Hank Williams... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
11:23 pm	Weddings aplenty I realise it has been a few weeks since my last post, and even then they tended to be either Writer's Block responses, YouTube videos or other short and sweet little bits and pieces, but that's not to say the last few weeks have been uneventful - far from it! The last few weeks or so have been quite busy and eventful. They've also been a fair bit hotter than they should be given the time of year, but these things happen sometimes (I hope and pray we get that midsummer cold snap over the Australia Day long weekend that we get some years). Indeed, rain, hail or shine this November appears to be a popular time to get married, and in the last seven days Sarah and I have attended two weddings, and each time one of us was in the bridal party. Last weekend saw Sarah and I travelling to Adelaide for Sian and Alex's wedding, and Sarah was one of the bridesmaids. It was pretty relaxed and casual all in all and not really bothered by tradition - beachside ceremony, the bride in blue, the groom and groomsmen in open-neck shirts, the whole bridal party wearing thongs, and smart casual all-round. I was so glad to be in a Hawaiian shirt and slacks because at about 40 degrees it was too bloody hot for a suit, even though that lovely sea breeze shaved off several degrees, bringing it back down to somewhere in the thirties. The reception they held at their home, and a beautiful, palatial home it is too, which they built with their own hands. It was a fantastic weekend, and Sarah's friends are always good company. Yesterday was Rhys and Sam's wedding, and I was one of the groomsmen. Another (proposed) outdoor ceremony with a civil celebrant, but otherwise a bit more conservative, a bit more formal. Rhys advised us to try the suits at least a few days beforehand, especially after Conny tried his and found the fly was broken. I'm happy to report that my suit had no defects, except that the sleeves were a bit short (though I was assured that that was a good thing, and I'm not a tailor so who am I to argue?), though one or two of the other blokes weren't so lucky. The suit people were supposed to repair or replace Conny's pants, and yet an hour before the ceremony they hadn't arrived, so here he is, the best man no less, standing around in white shirt, mauve tie, and these brown knee-length bermuda shorts he had on before changing. He looked like he'd just been chasing rhinos in Kenya; the only thing missing was a pith helmet. Anyway, Rhys called the suit hire people and they said they had inadvertently misplaced them, but they'd find as close a replacement as they could. So we're standing out the front of Rhys' Mum's place and the car goes by to drop off the pants, but he goes right past without even slowing down. Another fifteen minutes he's all apologetic - and so he should have been, especially as he had also brought pants that were way off the colour they should have been - grey, but totally the wrong shade, plus they had pinstripes when they were supposed to be a solid grey. Oh well, we just had to make do. In addition, later on in the evening, Rhys' big brother Raymond, another groomsman, had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction - the adjusting clip on the side of his trousers broke, and he had no belt loops, so he had to catch a ride home to change into another pair of pants. I admit I bought a suit from this mob, and can't fault it, it's a kick-arse suit, but it seems the hire suits are another story, leaving a fair bit to be desired. Also, the weather went to shit big time early in the day, necessitating a change of venue, so we were now indoors. In any event, everything worked out fine and the day and night was wonderful and enjoyable all round. The reception was in a sort of ritzy restaurant, and the food was exquisite. Funny thing, while we were having photos done, there were two other bridal parties doing the same. Must be the season for it... Today Sarah and I caught up with Rhys and Sam before they took off for their honeymoon, and then with Conny, Andrew, Celeste and Tim for brunch before going to sort out the suits for our own wedding, which was with the competition, another clothing emporium in town. Indeed, it all happened so quickly: John the suit guru measured up Conny (my best man too) and Drew, hooked them up with this rather nice black pinstripe number and red satin ties (they eschewed waistcoats because I'm getting married in January), and took down our details. Rhys wasn't available, being on his way to his honeymoon, but we got down details for him to sort his out too. I hope Andrew will be right to go on the day; he did his back in about a month or two ago, and has been in a fair bit of pain compromising his lifestyle somewhat. One specialist advised him to see how he is in 18 months, and if he's no better then get it treated (complete horseshit I thought). Another specialist suggested surgery (not pleasant, but I think a better option than just waiting a year or more to see if it improves). I understand it is an ongoing problem, he'll have back-related issues when he's 90, but if there's something to be done to significantly improve his quality of life then I'm all for it. He's umming and erring over it, but then again it is his back so it's his call... In sadder news my friend/erstwhile neighbour Lyn hasn't been too well of late, having had an operation on her neck, possibly associated with suspicious growths and a 40-year tobacco habit. I hope and pray she feels better soon and has a speedy recovery, I really do. On a lighter note, my kid brother Sam had his Energy Breakthrough camp this week. I don't know much about it but I know it involves energy efficiency and billy carts (I'll be chatting to him about it at some point, and hopefully he'll have photos and maybe even a video). And getting back to the wedding/engagement theme, congratulations to Ceara and James on their engagement :-D So it's all been happening, some good, some bad, but eventful no less. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 1st, 2009
6:42 pm	Writer's Block: Would you talk to the dead? Have you ever participated in a seance? If not, would you consider it? What spirit would you summon and what question would you ask them? Do you believe we can get messages from the dead? View 673 Answers I have participated in a seance, and I have no desire to ever participate in another one. It was at a birthday bash for one of my best friends, which had started about midday and went late into the night. His girlfriend at the time was into all that New Age/occult caper - "magic" crystals, tarot cards, et cetera - and for some reason got inspired to hold a seance. I admit I had been drinking all day and well into the evening, but I've always had an inquiring mind plus I was definitely a lost soul in those days. Initially I drunkenly figured "Yeah sod it, why not?" However, as the undertaking progressed, something in my head screamed "This shit is bad and wrong! Get your arse out!" With that I walked out on my first and last seance, and I prayed like nobody's business, begging the Lord's forgiveness for participating in this quasi-Satanic crap. As to the "messages from the dead", are they really from people who have passed on, or is it the Devil posing as the deceased person you're trying to contact? (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 31st, 2009
6:46 pm	Happy Birthday p_stop I hope you have a wonderful day and are having a fantastic weekend thus far :-D Now if you'll excuse me, the beer fridge calls, and the next one's for you Miss Eddie. Current Music: "The Darktown Strutter's Ball", Ella Fitzgerald (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 24th, 2009
3:52 pm	Bad Mother's Club? What next? Oh joy! Now they have a support group for lousy mothers, the Bad Mothers' Club: http://today.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=878709 After all, they have it so tough, and we are placing unrealistic expectations on them like setting a good example for their children, raising them to be decent, well-adjusted citizens and - oh, the horror, the horror! - actually spending time with them! And who says society is going to the dogs? Current Mood: disgusted (2 Comments |Comment on this)
12:45 pm	VORCLAW Starring Jon LaJoie as archvillain Vorclaw. Current Mood: amused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, October 19th, 2009
4:12 pm	Writer's Block: Bucket list If you found out you only had six months left to live, what would you do with the rest of your life? Do you have a "bucket list"? Submitted By prototypic View 1312 Answers I haven't actually got a "bucket list" - or at least didn't until I saw this Writer's Block instalment - but yeah, there's a whole bunch of things I'd love to do before I shuffle off this mortal coil (in no particular order because they're just coming off the top of my head): - Drive a few classic cars; - fly a plane, even get my pilot's licence; - see the Great Barrier Reef (but then maybe I should get onto that anyway before it's gone); - travel overseas, especially to Ireland, England, Germany and Spain; - get my finger out and write a book; - have a significant positive impact on the life of a total stranger, or failing that on the people I do know. Current Mood: contemplative (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 10th, 2009
8:15 pm	Writer's Block: Old friends Have you ever reconnected with long-lost friends over the Internet? Overall, have the relationships you've rekindled been more meaningful or superficial? Are there any people you wish you hadn't run into again online? View 416 Answers Some arsehole from secondary school - who was definitely no friend and who I hadn't heard from in years - tried to add me as a friend on Facebook, but I thought "Nah, **** him" and hit "Ignore". (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 8th, 2009
7:38 pm	Writer's Block: Job search Are you happy at your current job? Do you think there's such a thing as a dream job? What do you hope to be doing five or ten years from now? Are you working towards that goal? View 984 Answers No I'm not, I am stuck in a dead-end job, and each day for the last three or four months especially has been a painful reminder of this. I work at an abattoirs, turning cattle into meat for export, we've had a drought in my particular part of Australia for the last seven or eight years, and therefore at this moment whether we get rain or not the job's cactus. I haven't worked a 38-hour week in four months due to cattle shortages. I think there is such a thing as a dream job, and for my money anyone who has been successful as a professional musician has it, though ideally I'd love to make a living as a writer. However, I've had a touch of writer's block for a while, and yeah, I need to motivate myself. (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 3rd, 2009
1:14 pm	"Guns don't kill people, uh uh..." ( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. ) Current Mood: amused Current Music: "I Kill People", Jon La Joie (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 1st, 2009
3:28 pm	For all you Twitter fans out there... Current Mood: amused Current Music: "Spoonful", Cream (Comment on this)
Monday, September 28th, 2009
6:00 pm	Writer's Block: Mirror, mirror If you broke a mirror, would you worry about bad luck even if you're not superstitious? Would you walk under a ladder or cross a black cat's path on a dare? Is there anything you're superstitious about? View 968 Answers If I broke a mirror I guess I would worry about bad luck, especially if that mirror was on my car - then there's an increased risk of having an accident. If it's another kind of mirror I guess I'd worry about bad luck there too - those big ones aren't cheap to replace, and those shards can inflict some serious cuts. If a black cat crossed my path it could be bad luck - if I'm driving it could get ran over. And I wouldn't walk under a ladder because that's stupid, particularly if someone is standing on it and has something like a hammer or a drill or a tin of paint in hand - I guess it could be put down to bad luck if the ladder collapses or the bloke on the ladder drops aforementioned heavy object and it lands on you, even unluckier if you get hit by sharp edges too. So I guess I'm superstitious about a lot of things, like smoking or lighting a cigarette near a petrol pump, or inserting a butter knife into a toaster. Current Music: "What Is This Thing Called Love?", The Nat "King" Cole Trio (2 Comments |Comment on this)
5:16 pm	Upon reflection I think I may know what my dream about flying means, or more to the point what caused it, and the ones I had as a kid. The years I turned eleven and twelve were a fairly turbulent time in my life. My parents' marriage was deteriorating and generally seemed like a loveless, angry hell, my mother was always on my case, busting my balls, taking the time to tell me what a stupid and bad person I was, and then of course there was my spoilt, arse-licking, back-stabbing, belligerent, narcissistic, borderline-sociopathic emo poofter shithead younger brother determined to make life hell for me, determined to bully me in submission, or otherwise drop me in the shit if I stood up to him and put the little gobshite in his place. Oh, and there was this shitty teacher at school who had taken a dislike to me from day one for reasons I'll probably never know who also was forever busting my balls (in actuality I don't think she liked kids at all, and she was widely notorious for being a bitch, but she seemed to have it in for me in particular). Anyrate, my mother left during the winter holidays in July, and Mrs. Megabitch left not that long after, probably to retire to that little house made out of sweets and lollies out in the bush, and Little Lord Wanker would still suck up Dad's arse and try to screw me over and carry on like a spoilt brat, but life was fairer for me under Dad's roof once Mother Dearest was out of the picture. Was it the stress of life before my parents' split, evoking in me a desire to escape, or was it the feeling that I was capable of rising above it and capable of anything? Am I once again free of adolescent hang-ups and bullshit? Because as detailed two weeks ago in this journal (Monday, September 14th) I had a dream where I flapped my arms and took flight when confronted by a dangerous and untenable situation - and this was the first time I'd had such a dream since I was twelve. In the real world I was confronted by complications arising from being underemployed and possibly soon to be unemployed, worries such as money and what to do for another job and how long until I landed on my feet. At the same time I had a safety net - plenty of friends (man and boy), and some in a position to help me with the job situation, and also I have a good woman backing me up, and a sense that God is there and is looking out for me, and knows what He's doing even if it's clear as mud to the rest of us. Again, were the dreams stress-related, confidence-related, or maybe both? Current Mood: curious Current Music: "Mind's Eye", Wolfmother (2 Comments |Comment on this)
12:29 pm	I must have done something right. Sure enough, last Friday we each found out if we were staying or going, and it turns out I'm staying. I was sort of expecting to be let go, so when the boss shook my hand and congratulated me on making the cut, I was like "Duuuuuh, thanks." I didn't actually say "duuuuh", but I might as well have because I was stunned. I had mentally prepared myself to be let go, and steeling myself for the pain of unemployment and the rigmarole of finding and obtaining gainful employ, so this came as quite a surprise. Again I say, I must have done something right. In addition, as of next week, I will once again be working a 38-hour week. Sure, I'll still be getting up at ridiculous o'clock, and be away from home a fair bit, but it'll be great to be making some real money again. I feel sorry for the people who got let go, and particularly the ones with kids and mortgages, and I hope they land on their feet very soon. Please God, be with them, help them out, and thank You for letting me stay employed. Current Mood: relieved Current Music: "Hey Jude", The Beatles (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 18th, 2009
9:48 pm	Two years and I could be unemployed again. Due to a cattle shortage the company is tightening its belt again and downsizing to one shift (albeit a 38-hour-week shift), which means quite a few people could be taking their cards, and this may very well include yours truly. Pros: I'm conscientious, I'm dedicated, I'm punctual, I have a spotless disciplinary record; Cons: I don't know every job and I've only been there two years. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, I don't know. I just got off the phone to the HR bloke at the pork factory closer to home, and i may be in dialogue with him again shortly. My job-search efforts may land me in an office, who knows? As long as I'm not vaccuuming carpet and scrubbing dunnies again, though even that would be better than standing in a dole queue. Please God, help me find my niche, lead me in the right direction. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
8:54 am	Happy Birthday _blubloo_ for tomorrow, I hope you have a wonderful day, and may all your birthday wishes and dreams come true. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, September 14th, 2009
10:36 am	I had a dream last night where I flew, flapped my arms and literally took flight. The last time I had a dream like that I was twelve, before adolescence and all the complexities, hang-ups and bullshit that comes with it reared its ugly head. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 13th, 2009
7:46 pm	Writer's Block: Do you see psychics in your future? If an online psychic warned you not to leave home, would you cancel plans to attend a party? Would you refuse to date someone with a clashing astrological sign? In short, do you believe? View 1041 Answers Sure, I'm going to let my plans be dictated by a fortune teller plying their trade over the Internet. Am I the only one whose bullshit radar goes off when I see the words "online psychic"? And I don't believe in all that zodiac crap anyway, so the only thing stopping me dating an otherwise compatible lady is the fact that I'm engaged. (Comment on this)